Days when the sun shines, conservatives & flirty tulips

Every day living in England makes me feel more...well...English. The thing I have most come to appreciate is the beauty of colour. Colour and days when the sun shines. Days spent gazing out of train windows, through the scratched glass tagged with childish, violent scribbles. Days when in all the monotony of wet station platforms, weary commuters and heavy grey clouds, the sun shines and England seems suddenly alive, green and blue. That moment on the train when my face is warmed by sunlight and I notice the trees and I notice the daffodils looking bright and cheerful, where once there was only damp rotting logs, forgotten rubbish and tangled winter weeds. Yesterday, strolling to the station in, I saw gardens boasting fat, red tulips. Tulips that seemed to draw your attention like the uneasy gaze of a voluptuous woman's cleavage, or lips smeared in too much gloss. Tulips that were brazon, wanton hussies smiling up shamelessly at me from beneath the many "Vote Conservative" posters. I almost laughed out loud at the perfect irony of the situation...but at that moment a grumpy looking man glared at me menacingly from his doorstep - threatening me with a chesty cough - as if I planned to pluck his precious tulips from their burlesque stage, or crush their lolling heads. I smiled at him, despite myself, he reminded me of the selfish giant from the story by Oscar Wilde - the sour giant that didn't want to share his garden with children. I had no desire to pluck his fucking tulips...just admire them, before they wilted from all the carbon-monoxide expunged by the passing 4X4s (insert deep breath here) that told me I was in a well-to-do suburban area. However, the old fart just eyed me up and down until I decided to be on my way. Well, I have come to the conclusion that most Conservatives fit into the 'selfish giant' category and are deeply possessive of their gardens (if they have them)....so Michael Howard, you will never get this half-Brit's vote...ever!!! Not until the day tulips pluck themselves from Conservative flower beds all over Britain and dance naked in the street. Sigh. Now this was a cathartic post. I feel better and now...I'm going to vote for the GREEN PARTY.