Ode to the Northern Line

Ah, good old British Transport. Sigh. This week alone, about 10hrs of my precious time has been wasted as a result of delays, suspensions and cancellelations. Another thing I would like to know: Are the violent-blue, electric sparks that go flying off the tracks sometimes... normal? The reason I ask is that yesterday (while waiting an hour for my train) one of these 'little sparks' set a discarded pack of cigarettes on fire. I watched it burn a fantastic, green-blue, leaving a large black singe mark where matter had once been. It's food for thought anyway.

Another thing I've noticed, is that every train seems to have its own repetoire of strange, worrying noises. The one I was on this morning sounded like a bad steel band and the one I was on yesterday sounded like the famous 'knife in the shower scene' from Psycho (insert high pitched *ching...ching...ching* here). Some even sound like an elaborate piece of Noh or Kabuki Theatre; a sound like twanging strings.

The fact that the Northern Line has been suspended for the last two days means that getting to work has been...mmm...trying. I've had to rely on a bus service crammed to bursting point, that at the end of the day is actually slower than walking! I tried to compose a little limerick or ditty to release some of the overwhelming anger I have experienced while stranded in some badly-lit, smelly station. However, it's just far too depressing. All I could come up with was this:

Ode to the Big Red Fucking Bus

Standing on the corner

waiting for the bus,

it begins to rain

and I begin to fuss!

When the bus arrives,

the driver drives passed;

the bus is filled to bursting

and he just can't be arsed!