Concussion & Swedish Chocolate

Well, just when you think things couldn't get any worse than Sleep Deprivation...some piece of furniture decides to attack you. In the last two weeks I've hit my head really hard twice - which cannot be good - especially since the second time I saw the kind of twinkly happy stars that only cartoon characters are meant to see.

The first time - I slipped on the new yuppy-wooden floors in the new apartment and fell hard on my bottom, before smacking my head. I lay on my back for a little while, just looking at the ceiling...wanting very badly to blame someone other than myself for this unfortunate event. I had that feeling that little children get when they decide to throw tantrums in supermarkets...it was that feeling of wanting to cry and scream really loudly - so that others in your immediate vincity can suffer. Sigh. However, I was alone...so I just raised an angry fist towards my Chamaedorea elegans (pot plant) - which was the only witness to my sad, clumsy fall. I even felt like shouting at it "What the fuck do you think you're looking at all safe in your little corner over there, huh?"....but it seemed to wilt under my angry gaze...so I felt bad and just got some ice from the fridge and made a makeshift icepack with a Sainsbury's packet. It was then that I realised that the icecubes I had were also shaped like stars (God bless Ikea). This made me feel a little sick...so I decided only a glass of wine would do and that helped.

The second time it was a piece of flatpack furniture that came crashing down on my head with the kind of 'thwaaaack' sound that should only happen when Kung Fu Masters crack planks of wood with their hands, or just after lumberjacks shout 'timber'. Anyhow, it hurt. This time I thought I saw little Swedish milkmaids as well as stars dancing around my head. I cried...then made another icepack with my star-shaped icecubes and when that didn't help...I ate chocolates - a whole freakin box of them ha ha ha ha (insert maniacal laughter here) followed by half a bottle of red wine (insert even more maniacal laughter here) ha ha ha.

Well, needless to say. Last night was my first good night's sleep since I moved into the flat. Saying that I slept like the dead would be an understatement.